Sunday, January 29, 2012

Struggling

My heart is aching and every tear weighs heavy on my soul. Yet the pain and sadness I feel could never compare to that of those who created the miracle she was. I have not had the privilege of motherhood and I cannot imagine the emptiness that must be filling every ounce of their bodies. I feel joy for having met her as she created a special place for herself within my heart. I feel love for her parents, our dear friends, for whom no words can express my deepest condolences. I wish that we could all bear the burden and sorrow for them, but as it is, we must only bear it along with them. I feel angry and confused for the loss of this precious little life that had so much strength and courage and love and so
much left to do on this earth. It doesn't seem right. The reality of how fragile and short life may be makes me fearful. The beauty and love of this family makes me value my own and want to hold them so much closer. I feel relief that this precious baby is no longer in pain and can no longer suffer the grips of the terrible monster that took her from all of us. I know healing will be a long and challenging process. I hope their love remains strong and that they find inner strength in each other as they begin the process of healing. I hope they will treasure the memories and never forget the beautiful smile and perfect little voice of their baby girl. I know I will carry a memory of her with me always. Rest in peace, Paxten. You are so very loved and will be missed by all who knew you!

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